as i was getting ready for a big-ish day at work, i suddenly started to feel excruciating pain in my eye. i thought, “must be an eyelash!” so i flushed the eye over and over and i inspected my eye socket for this eyelash.
but i found nothing. NOTHING!
i flailed around in panic/agony for a while and eventually pulled myself together. i eventually began to stumble around to get dressed and asked kk to drive me to work.
after making the earliest appointment with my optometrist/ophthalmologist/whatever for 10:45, i sat at my desk with an incapacitated eye that rendered me useless - i’m sure I looked like quasimodo. it felt like sand was stuck under my eyelid and scraping my eyeball for the last 3 hours. do you know how hard it is to work on a brief when you can’t stare at your computer?
i eventually convinced myself that i probably had some horrible illness and that my eye was going to be removed. because that’s just my luck (once, i mysteriously got meningitis. MENINGITIS!!) and because i just finished reading “the fault in our stars” and SPOILER ALERT: there’s a blind character in the book.
i made it to the doctor’s office where i paid $75 for her to flip my eyelid up (ew!), poke around with a q-tip, and retrieve the tiniest speck of…
wait for it…
WTF. in my 15-ish years of exfoliating my face that has never happened.
you don’t know pain until you’ve had a speck of apricot scrub stuck under your eyelid.